Weekly GAG assignment/challenge

Sept 29, 09

Do you feel your eating habits that ended you into this challenge are a direct result of habits formed during childhood? (Please explain)

Yes, definitely! I grew up in a 2-parent household with both parents working full-time. My mom didn’t/doesn’t like to cook so we ate way too much processed food & not enough fruits & veggies. I barely remember eating vegetables as a child.

Tell me about your living situation. Are you married? Kids? In College? What is your life like OUTSIDE of weightloss?

I’ve been engaged since 2006. In Oct 2007 I was supposed to get married to the love of my life Brent. However, due to his addiction to alcohol, things went way off track & we went our separate ways for 9 months. We are back together now, but he’s still working on his addiction issues & the aftermath of all that. We do plan to get married some day, but have no date in mind. He needs to get healthy & I want to get my food addiction under control too so I can be the best partner I can be as well.
I have a 16 year old son who lives with me part-time (on my days off from work) & lives the other half with my parents so he can go to a better school. He’s a great kid & I love him dearly. He’s my favorite cheerleader in my weight loss journey. He loves school this year & I couldn’t be more thrilled to see his enthusiasm. Brent has 2 kids (16 & 21) who live in Seattle that we don’t get to see very often.
My life outside of this weigh loss journey is emotionally stressful. I’m a nurse & I’m working on a unit that I thought I would love, but come to find out that isn’t the case. Due to the economy even nursing jobs aren’t abundant like they had been so for now I’m stuck there despite a year of job hunting. I work night shift so that throws my entire life schedule off. I sleep when the rest of the world is out & about. Even on my days off I end up staying up all night, but I’m not being productive. I’m upset with myself about that. I really MUST get myself on a schedule & get it together.
I get to visit Brent on Thursdays & Sundays for a whopping 20 minutes. I’m super stressed and anxious about what the future holds because he/we have done all we can do to fix his wrong-doings. Now it’s all up to the courts. It’s a painful waiting game. I pray he’s home by Christmas otherwise it will be another dismal holiday season.

If you were given a magic wand that you could use one time to do one thing, what would you use it for?

Admittedly I would be tempted to be selfish & cast a “spell” on myself & my family that would guarantee that our goals would be achieved as long as we worked hard. I feel like I do the right things, but things just don’t turn out as planned…ever.

What is your favorite thing about this time of year? Least favorite?

I LOVE all the changing colors. It’s beautiful. Before I had my son, it was just another time of year. When he was little we were driving somewhere and he noticed all the colors of the changing trees. It’s really a gift to be able to see life through a child’s eyes. I’ve never looked at the trees the same since that moment.

My least favorite part is the daylight savings change. I think it’s depressing that it gets dark so early.

You have a day off, no responsibilities, so what will you do with it?

I would want to spend the day with my two favorite guys—Brent & Adam. Instead of just having a family night we would have family day. We would cook a yummy breakfast & sit down as a family. Then take a hike & maybe do a scavenger hunt. Then in the evening we would play some games & listen to our favorite music & maybe watch a movie as we cuddled up on the couch.

What is YOUR sin food?

Good Lord, how can I just pick one? I honestly don’t think I have just one item, but if I had to pick one it would probably be pizza.

You're in a foul mood, what lifts you out of it?

Spending time with Adam & Brent & listening to music.

You're in a good mood, what keeps you there?

Doing something good for myself whether it be exercising, eating right, or spending time with my family or friends keeps me happy.

What is one of your biggest struggles right now?

The legal situation with Brent is my biggest struggle at the moment. I like to be in control and this situation is completely out of my control & stuff with the law is completely foreign to me. I’m a fish out of water. I pray that this situation is the toughest issue we will have to endure as a couple. Let’s hope all the other hurdles are smaller than this one.

Diet-wise my biggest struggle is scheduling my workouts because of my erratic sleep schedule.

Your motivation is running low, where do you find your refill?

Reading everyone’s blogs and seeing how much success they’re having recharges my battery.

Your in-house support (meaning the people in your life that you see face to face) is beginning to dictate your weightloss journey by telling you you're too heavy, or you're getting too thin, but you're not where you want to be. What do you do? How do you handle it?
I have great support so this has not been an issue. However, if it did, I would just have to explain that I am doing this for myself & no one else & that I may get to that magic number on the scale and realize that it isn’t the right weight for me to be. But until I get there, I’ll never be satisfied so I have to keep working to get there.

List me your favorite:
Color: Red
Smell: ooh, too many. I love the smell of cinnamon, rain, Brent’s cologne, fresh cut grass
Activity with your child: I like watching the comedy channel with him so I can hear him laugh.
Activity with your girlfriends/ guy buddies: Just being with them talking & laughing. We could be doing something or nothing at all besides sitting there.

Where do you honestly see yourself at the end of this challenge?

I see myself one size smaller, but still plugging away at the biggest goal. I will definitely be stronger than when I started the GAG journey.

What are your goals AFTER Gag?

My goals after GAG are to just keep working on myself to become the best me I can be.

How do you think GAG is going so far? What would you like to see done differently?

I think for me the GAG is going just so-so. I have my ups and downs like everyone. The one thing I learned about myself from joining this challenge is that I’m NOT very competitive. I like to read about everyone’s successes and fitness tips on their blogs, but for me to be in competition against other people and not do as well makes me feel like a failure. I’m doing this for me and no one else so I doubt I will join another challenge. If I’m only competing against myself, I’m always going to win. That’s such jacked up thinking, but it’s me. Kinda makes me like a sore loser doesn’t it? Yikes, that’s not good.

Tell me all about your "typical" autumn weekend? Special activities that arise as well?

There is nothing typical about my life. If I’m not working, I usually spend it with my son doing something (walk at the park, movie, or something) or cleaning the house.

How did you find GAG, and what made you commit to join?

I found the GAG challenge through someone's blog when she made mention that she was joining it.

If you could nominate one BIGGEST INSPIRATION out of all your Team Gaggers, who would you nominate?

It’s hard to pick because I admire different things in a bunch of different people. But I would say Laurie because she just did her 1st 5K race. Being able to run is a goal of mine so I look to her for inspiration & motivation to keep going.

Please, tell me about you. What are your dreams? What are your desires for your life? What sparks the passion inside of you about your life? What goals do you have that seem impossible?

My dreams and desires used to be vast & big. But honestly with the recession & everything I’ve gone through with Brent, my priorities have completely shifted. I almost think as painful as it’s been on me and so many families that this recession is a blessing in disguise. I’ve really come to appreciate the simple things in life. I still want a bigger house with a bit more room than what we have right now, but we’re just fine in this small house. It’s a want not a need.
My big goal is to get debt-free. ..at least consumer debt-free. I’m not so much worried about the mortgage and student loans. But I do want to get the credit cards paid off and get to the point where we only have 1 card that is used for emergencies or travel only. I want us to be able to take a big vacation every other year with a couple long weekends thrown in during the year.
I used to want to move back to VA or somewhere warm. Since I started exercising though, I think I’ve changed my mind on that too. Brent & I have been talking about moving to the Pacific northwest after my son is done with high school. I think I much prefer a milder climate. I’m thinking mid-70s all year round would be perfect. I’ve discovered how much I hate working out in the heat & humidity. It’s just miserable. We’ll be shopping around for a new place to live over the next 4-5 years.
My weight loss goal is to get to a weight that I like the way I look. That may be 120 pounds or 135. I have no idea at this point. I’ve made 135 my long term goal because that will put me in the normal BMI range. Quite honestly though, I have no idea what will look right on my frame; I’ve been fat since I’ve been 18 years old. It’s all subject to modification as I near my goal.
My impossible goal is running. I never thought I would like the feeling of running, but I do. I can’t wait to get conditioned enough to run my first 5K with Brent. Another impossible or seemingly impossible goal is the debt-free dream. Life always gets in the way of allowing this to happen. Some unexpected expense comes up, but I keep working at it anyway. I always try to remember that tomorrow is going to come whether I’m doing something to work towards my goals or not. I might as well die trying to succeed than to die a failure for never having tried.


September 29, 2009

I think I may be one of the people that Sheila is talking about in her GAG post today. I have been neglecting my blog lately. Although it's not because I've gained or I'm trying to avoid something.
Last work I worked 4 12 hour night shifts in a row and it just completely threw off my flow. I think it took me a day & a half to recover from that. Monday & most of Tuesday I didn't do jack crap. I just wanted to chill and chill I did. A few days off turn into a few more days off and pretty soon it's been a week since I've posted to my blog. I've read and commented on a few blogs, but haven't had much to write about myself.

I have been allowing complacency to take over my days. I've been eating just fine, but I haven't logged my food into the Bodybugg program all week. I haven't been exercising as much or as often as I think I should be either. I've lost this week despite my slackness.

I need to take a mental time out and revamp my food and exercise plan. My goals are not appearing as quickly as I'd like them to. I'm the only one responsible for that so I need to change some things to make it happen.


September 23, 2009

It's been a week since I've blogged. I feel like I'm totally disconnected from my blog lately. However, I've still been working on my goals and staying on track. Last week I worked 4 12 hour night shifts in a row. It's an ass-kicker. Normally even after 3 in a row, I don't exercise after night number one. This time though was different. I worked out every night except Sunday night. I was quite proud of myself for getting up early & sticking with my plan.
I actually think that exercising before work helps me stay awake during the night shift. Thursday I procrastinated & didn't work out before going to work. However, once I got all my patients settled & assessed, I went on the south wing of our unit that is closed currently and fast walked for 30 minutes.

I had a short term goal to weigh 240 by Sept 28th. I seriously doubt that I'm going to lose 6.6 lbs in the next 4 days, but I'm happy that I got that close to goal. It's much better than where I started.

Hope all the GAGgers are having a great week especially team Cupid!!

GAG weigh-in

September 15, 2009

This is my weigh-in for the GAG challenge. I have finally knocked off 25 pounds. I can't believe it. I feel really good. Last week I weighed 251.8. Today 247.6

GAG weekly update

September 15, 2009

Here's the final points added for my week of the GAG challenge and my meal plans for the last 2 days.

Life sucks today

September 14, 2009

I had such hope for today. I've been praying extra hard for God to do MY will and bring my fiance home today. Apparently that wasn't HIS will for the day. Court did not go as planned. The judge is against sentencing him to the 18 month alcohol rehab program because they spent so much money to extradite him from TN. Really??? You're going to make the cost of extradition a condition to getting accepted to a treatment program??? I'm beyond pissed. If money is the real issue, just tack that fee onto his restitution bill. They're willing to house him in a prison for whatever number of years at however many thousands of dollars per year, but want to bitch about sending 2 deputies to TN for a 16 hour day. It's complete and utter bullshit. I've written a letter to the judge to express my displeasure with his current state of stupidity...in a polite way of course.

On a positive note, I'm still hanging onto my new weight-loss number. I mentioned before that I don't count a weight loss as real unless I see it on the scale 2 days in a row. Yep, it's been 3 days now. I'm loving that. Let's pray it hangs around until my GAG weigh-in tomorrow. I did come home from court and eat 3 servings of Ruffles cheddar and sour cream chips. Probably would have eaten more, but that's all my son left in the bag. Thanks Adam. You saved mom from a horrible binge.

Knowing my luck though, I'll have a weight gain tomorrow from water weight that has accumulated in my eyelids from crying the entire afternoon.

On another good note, last night I did Week 3 day2 of the C25K. I had started week 3 the middle of last week, but cut it short due to lightening. I am happy to say that I finished the entire segment. Actually it ended before I thought it would. Previous weeks have 6 running segments. Week 3 only has 5--2 for 90 seconds and 3 for 3 minutes. I am starting to feel good about my progress.

Food log Thurs-Sat


Today I hit a milestone of getting under 250. I'm going to keep my actual weight secret until the GAG weigh-in on Tuesday. This week I revamped my bodybugg program and reduced my calories to 1300-1500cal/day. Seems to be working...finally.

GAG challenge update....finally

GAG challenge Week 2

September 9, 2009

I've tried 3 times to upload my 2 images of my info for the week 2 challenge, but keep getting an internal error message. I will try later. I did log my food into my Bodybugg program yesterday and made a little chart for the other point stuff.

Things are on the move as far as the fiber issue is concerned too. I'm very happy.

Going in the wrong direction

September 7, 2009

I weighed myself yesterday and today...I'm up about 1.5 pounds. I truly believe it's due to my lack of proper meal planning on Saturday. I ate all healthy food & stayed within my calories, but holy shit...or actually no shit. I ate 52 grams of fiber. I fear I won't be able to poop for a month. My crap will turn to a brick. I'm trying to drink LOTS more water.

Hopefully tonight I will dump a load and lose 5 pounds by my GAG weigh in tomorrow. Tonight my son & I are going to the track to run the C25K. Running always makes me have "the" urge. Keeping my fingers crossed.

GAG challenge

September 4, 2009

Challenge Part 1
I actually do have a family gathering coming up at the end of the month. My dad is turning 60 so we’re celebrating with a cookout. My master plan is to drink lots of water to curb my hunger. I may throw in some iced tea just to mix it up a bit. If my mom isn’t planning to have a veggie tray, I will be bringing one with a low-fat ranch dressing I found. It’s made with yogurt…pretty tasty.
I plan to have one plate of food only & one piece of cake. No seconds. My other goal is just to stay away from the food table as much as possible. I’m hoping my cousins will be bringing the cornhole game & Amish testicle toss ( I have no idea what the real name of the game is, but that’s what we call it). I haven’t seen my cousins since last summer so it will be nice to catch up with them AWAY from the food.
I will work out for 45 minutes prior to going to the party. I know once I get there anything else I plan to do that day will fall to the wayside. In addition to that, my brother & his family will be here from Seattle so I want to spend as much time with them as possible.

Part 2
Chips and salsa are always a huge hit. I have 2 great salsa recipes. I think they’re easy to make and so fabulously yum that I probably will never buy jarred salsa again. The homemade fresh just tastes so much better. This salsa is also great toppings for tacos, chicken, or eggs.
I AT LEAST double this recipe because I always end up wanting more once I get a taste.

#1 Tomato Cilantro Salsa by John D Lee

1 big ripe tomato ( or 2 med or 3 small)
2 Tbsp chopped white onion
1 Tbsp finely chopped cilantro
Fresh chopped chili pepper to your taste
¼ of a lime

Chop tomato & add it to mixing bowl. Include juice, skin, & seeds.
Add the chopped onion, chili, & cilantro.
Squeeze your lime quarter into the mixture.
Add a pinch of salt and taste. Add more as necessary to your liking.
Enjoy your fresh salsa!

The next recipe is from www.cdkitchen.com It tastes much like the corn salsa from Chipotle if you have that restaurant near you.
This recipe makes 3 cups.
2 ears of very fresh corn (I save the time & hassle & use a bag of Steamfresh frozen corn)
2 vine-ripened tomatoes
1 small red onion
¾ c diced red bell pepper
2 jalapeño chiles, minced (save some of the seeds)
2 tsp pureed canned chipotle chiles (I’ve omitted these before and it still tastes good)
2 limes (juice)
1 Tbsp olive oil
¼ c chopped cilantro
Salt to taste

Remove husks and silk from the corn. Rinse. Simmer corn in rapidly boiling water for 2 minutes; drain and immediately plunge the ears into a bowl of cold water to stop the cooking. Cut kernels off the cob.
Cut tomatoes into the same size dice as the onion and bell pepper.
Combine corn with the diced vegetables; sprinkle in the reserved jalapeño seeds. Stir in the chipotle puree, lime juice, olive oil, cilantro, and salt.
Stir and eat!

I can't believe what I did!!!

September 2, 2009

Last night I stayed up too late. By the time I tried to lay down & get some sleep, I could not get my mind to turn off. I tossed and turned for an hour. At 4am I decided to get up and clean the kitchen and straighten the livingroom. I closed my lil peeps at 615 and actually fell asleep, but had to get up at 650 to take my kid to school.

After dropping him off, I came home and made my list of things to do. I planned to go back to bed from 8-11am followed by a long list of errands. Yep, not much got done. I slept until 115, showered, & then it was off to pick him up from school already.

After dinner, I sooooo did not feel like working out, but since I joined the GAG challenge & I want to win something (besides a better figure), I forced myself to hit the track. I started my C25K podcast and off I went. I was feeling better once I started, but halfway through I just wasn't feeling it. I finished the 30 minutes, but only ran 3.5 of the intervals. I caught myself trying to talk myself out of NOT finishing my workout. WTF?!! My mind was telling me that my dinner was churning in my tummy and that I might have to run behind the bleachers to poop, I'm thirsty, I'm tired, I have chores to do at home. Blah, blah, blah.

Finally I just told myself to shut up and finish. Guess what? I listened to myself. Not only that, but I also decided to keep walking until I hit my calorie goal, my 10,000 steps goal, and my activity goal. I did all that. Somewhere along the way, I decided that I was going to jog & see just how far I could go.
I ran a 1/2 mile without stopping. HOLY CRAP!! I'm pretty sure I haven't run a 1/2 mile since high school. I'm really proud of myself. I actually think I could have gone a bit longer, but it was approaching 11pm and my son was with me; he has school in the morning so I stopped at 1/2 mile.

Tomorrow I will try week 3 of the C25K and more non-stop jogging. Run Forrest Run!!
I'm feelin' good tonight.

GAG Week 1, Day 1

SEPTEMBER 1, 2009---That start of GAG 2009 Here are the goods..errr or bads of the facts.