Weekly GAG assignment/challenge

Sept 29, 09

Do you feel your eating habits that ended you into this challenge are a direct result of habits formed during childhood? (Please explain)

Yes, definitely! I grew up in a 2-parent household with both parents working full-time. My mom didn’t/doesn’t like to cook so we ate way too much processed food & not enough fruits & veggies. I barely remember eating vegetables as a child.

Tell me about your living situation. Are you married? Kids? In College? What is your life like OUTSIDE of weightloss?

I’ve been engaged since 2006. In Oct 2007 I was supposed to get married to the love of my life Brent. However, due to his addiction to alcohol, things went way off track & we went our separate ways for 9 months. We are back together now, but he’s still working on his addiction issues & the aftermath of all that. We do plan to get married some day, but have no date in mind. He needs to get healthy & I want to get my food addiction under control too so I can be the best partner I can be as well.
I have a 16 year old son who lives with me part-time (on my days off from work) & lives the other half with my parents so he can go to a better school. He’s a great kid & I love him dearly. He’s my favorite cheerleader in my weight loss journey. He loves school this year & I couldn’t be more thrilled to see his enthusiasm. Brent has 2 kids (16 & 21) who live in Seattle that we don’t get to see very often.
My life outside of this weigh loss journey is emotionally stressful. I’m a nurse & I’m working on a unit that I thought I would love, but come to find out that isn’t the case. Due to the economy even nursing jobs aren’t abundant like they had been so for now I’m stuck there despite a year of job hunting. I work night shift so that throws my entire life schedule off. I sleep when the rest of the world is out & about. Even on my days off I end up staying up all night, but I’m not being productive. I’m upset with myself about that. I really MUST get myself on a schedule & get it together.
I get to visit Brent on Thursdays & Sundays for a whopping 20 minutes. I’m super stressed and anxious about what the future holds because he/we have done all we can do to fix his wrong-doings. Now it’s all up to the courts. It’s a painful waiting game. I pray he’s home by Christmas otherwise it will be another dismal holiday season.

If you were given a magic wand that you could use one time to do one thing, what would you use it for?

Admittedly I would be tempted to be selfish & cast a “spell” on myself & my family that would guarantee that our goals would be achieved as long as we worked hard. I feel like I do the right things, but things just don’t turn out as planned…ever.

What is your favorite thing about this time of year? Least favorite?

I LOVE all the changing colors. It’s beautiful. Before I had my son, it was just another time of year. When he was little we were driving somewhere and he noticed all the colors of the changing trees. It’s really a gift to be able to see life through a child’s eyes. I’ve never looked at the trees the same since that moment.

My least favorite part is the daylight savings change. I think it’s depressing that it gets dark so early.

You have a day off, no responsibilities, so what will you do with it?

I would want to spend the day with my two favorite guys—Brent & Adam. Instead of just having a family night we would have family day. We would cook a yummy breakfast & sit down as a family. Then take a hike & maybe do a scavenger hunt. Then in the evening we would play some games & listen to our favorite music & maybe watch a movie as we cuddled up on the couch.

What is YOUR sin food?

Good Lord, how can I just pick one? I honestly don’t think I have just one item, but if I had to pick one it would probably be pizza.

You're in a foul mood, what lifts you out of it?

Spending time with Adam & Brent & listening to music.

You're in a good mood, what keeps you there?

Doing something good for myself whether it be exercising, eating right, or spending time with my family or friends keeps me happy.

What is one of your biggest struggles right now?

The legal situation with Brent is my biggest struggle at the moment. I like to be in control and this situation is completely out of my control & stuff with the law is completely foreign to me. I’m a fish out of water. I pray that this situation is the toughest issue we will have to endure as a couple. Let’s hope all the other hurdles are smaller than this one.

Diet-wise my biggest struggle is scheduling my workouts because of my erratic sleep schedule.

Your motivation is running low, where do you find your refill?

Reading everyone’s blogs and seeing how much success they’re having recharges my battery.

Your in-house support (meaning the people in your life that you see face to face) is beginning to dictate your weightloss journey by telling you you're too heavy, or you're getting too thin, but you're not where you want to be. What do you do? How do you handle it?
I have great support so this has not been an issue. However, if it did, I would just have to explain that I am doing this for myself & no one else & that I may get to that magic number on the scale and realize that it isn’t the right weight for me to be. But until I get there, I’ll never be satisfied so I have to keep working to get there.

List me your favorite:
Color: Red
Smell: ooh, too many. I love the smell of cinnamon, rain, Brent’s cologne, fresh cut grass
Activity with your child: I like watching the comedy channel with him so I can hear him laugh.
Activity with your girlfriends/ guy buddies: Just being with them talking & laughing. We could be doing something or nothing at all besides sitting there.

Where do you honestly see yourself at the end of this challenge?

I see myself one size smaller, but still plugging away at the biggest goal. I will definitely be stronger than when I started the GAG journey.

What are your goals AFTER Gag?

My goals after GAG are to just keep working on myself to become the best me I can be.

How do you think GAG is going so far? What would you like to see done differently?

I think for me the GAG is going just so-so. I have my ups and downs like everyone. The one thing I learned about myself from joining this challenge is that I’m NOT very competitive. I like to read about everyone’s successes and fitness tips on their blogs, but for me to be in competition against other people and not do as well makes me feel like a failure. I’m doing this for me and no one else so I doubt I will join another challenge. If I’m only competing against myself, I’m always going to win. That’s such jacked up thinking, but it’s me. Kinda makes me like a sore loser doesn’t it? Yikes, that’s not good.

Tell me all about your "typical" autumn weekend? Special activities that arise as well?

There is nothing typical about my life. If I’m not working, I usually spend it with my son doing something (walk at the park, movie, or something) or cleaning the house.

How did you find GAG, and what made you commit to join?

I found the GAG challenge through someone's blog when she made mention that she was joining it.

If you could nominate one BIGGEST INSPIRATION out of all your Team Gaggers, who would you nominate?

It’s hard to pick because I admire different things in a bunch of different people. But I would say Laurie because she just did her 1st 5K race. Being able to run is a goal of mine so I look to her for inspiration & motivation to keep going.

Please, tell me about you. What are your dreams? What are your desires for your life? What sparks the passion inside of you about your life? What goals do you have that seem impossible?

My dreams and desires used to be vast & big. But honestly with the recession & everything I’ve gone through with Brent, my priorities have completely shifted. I almost think as painful as it’s been on me and so many families that this recession is a blessing in disguise. I’ve really come to appreciate the simple things in life. I still want a bigger house with a bit more room than what we have right now, but we’re just fine in this small house. It’s a want not a need.
My big goal is to get debt-free. ..at least consumer debt-free. I’m not so much worried about the mortgage and student loans. But I do want to get the credit cards paid off and get to the point where we only have 1 card that is used for emergencies or travel only. I want us to be able to take a big vacation every other year with a couple long weekends thrown in during the year.
I used to want to move back to VA or somewhere warm. Since I started exercising though, I think I’ve changed my mind on that too. Brent & I have been talking about moving to the Pacific northwest after my son is done with high school. I think I much prefer a milder climate. I’m thinking mid-70s all year round would be perfect. I’ve discovered how much I hate working out in the heat & humidity. It’s just miserable. We’ll be shopping around for a new place to live over the next 4-5 years.
My weight loss goal is to get to a weight that I like the way I look. That may be 120 pounds or 135. I have no idea at this point. I’ve made 135 my long term goal because that will put me in the normal BMI range. Quite honestly though, I have no idea what will look right on my frame; I’ve been fat since I’ve been 18 years old. It’s all subject to modification as I near my goal.
My impossible goal is running. I never thought I would like the feeling of running, but I do. I can’t wait to get conditioned enough to run my first 5K with Brent. Another impossible or seemingly impossible goal is the debt-free dream. Life always gets in the way of allowing this to happen. Some unexpected expense comes up, but I keep working at it anyway. I always try to remember that tomorrow is going to come whether I’m doing something to work towards my goals or not. I might as well die trying to succeed than to die a failure for never having tried.
4 Responses
  1. Ladybug Says:

    First off, congrats on your engagement...I'm happy that you have the support of your family in your journey to become healthy... I'm just sorry to hear that there is a lot of stress to deal with. But know that i the long run, you will be together and you will both be happy and healthier. Just keep the faith and focus on the positives.

    Don't feel that because you may not loose as much weight or earn as many points as someone else... that you are a failure. That's all just for fun and motivation. It may not be a motivation to you (the competition that is) but the challenges should be fun for you. Give you something to aim for. I've never really been in the challenge (this is the second one I have done with Sheila) to win... Well, for me, winning is loosing the last 15 lbs I needed to loose... and also for the motivation. It encourages me to see others work out and be successful. If others are doing it, then I know I can do it too. Just NEVER feel that because you only lost 1 lb where someone else may loose 10 that you are a failure. Slow and Easy wins the race. You are learning to make it a lifestyle change rather than a "diet" so you are more likely to keep it off. Fast isn't always best...

    Good luck and continued success with your journey to becoming healthy!

  2. Arcticmal Says:

    I agree, finding motivation reading others blogs is great!!! Just remember that slow and steady win the race!!! Hope you have a great week!!

  3. Ladybug Says:

    Hope you are having a great week! Check in when you get a chance...

  4. Arcticmal Says:

    How are you today?
    HOw are things?
    Hope you are having a good week.

Post a Comment