OA Meeting

Yesterday was the “straw that broke the camel’s back” day for me. I’m going through such a rough time in my life—not just with my weight, but life in general. I won’t bore you with all the details because I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the life I have because I’m not, but just once I’d like to catch a break. I’d like ONE thing to go right the first time around without some big hassle or setback.
Early in the evening I had to take my son to a sleep-over retreat & meeting for his upcoming church youth mission trip. On the way there, we were discussing how his art grade when from a B to an F in the week before school is to end. I asked about this paper he was to have turned in this week; it was worth 150 points. He told me that he thought it was extra credit. OMG, I think my head exploded for a moment. I totally lost it and don’t recall several minutes of driving. Anger and driving aren’t a good mix!
On the way home, I got behind every slow driver and seemed like I just got boxed in by every slow poke the road. I think I missed the memo about yesterday being the “Drive 10 under the speed limit Day”. By the time I got home, I was so beyond frustrated. I was just so pissed about everything that happened that day & just threw all my good judgment out the window. My friend and I went to the store and bought all bad food---soda, pizza, ice cream, chips, & booze. We ate some of it all. It wasn’t as bad for her as she’s not fat, but it was such a horrible move on my part; not only that, but it was late in the evening. Double whammy!
Today when I woke up I felt all this guilt for making such bad food choices. I decided today was the day that I would get the guts to try an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. I got there a bit early & sat in my car waiting for others to get there. If it was too small of a group, I may have chickened out. However, it ended up being 7 women. I wasn’t AS nervous as when I went to my first Al-anon meeting, but still the unknown is a bit nerve-wracking. I will definitely go again. Before leaving, I bought the OA book and workbook that helps work through the 12-Steps.
After the meeting I went to the park and worked on Step 1. It’s been quite an emotional journey already with just the questions I did answer. I think I did a little over half of them. I have hope that this program with be really helpful to me. Al-anon has been very eye-opening & useful in helping me deal with my fiancé’s alcoholism so I have hope for this program as well. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to struggle alone & there are others that I can turn to for help. It’s really easy to isolate yourself when you’re fat.
I’ve watched a lot of those shows about the fattest man, teen, & woman etc. It seems unbelievable that someone would allow themselves to get to that size, but honestly, I never thought I would be this fat. How did I let this happen to myself? I feel as though I was average one day and just woke up fat the next, but I know that isn’t really the case. None of us are that different from the people who weight 600 or 800 pounds. We all make bad food choices, eat portions that are way too big, don’t move our bodies enough, or just don’t have control of our eating in general.
I am praying for successful recovery from my food addictions. My fiancé has been sober for about 420 days. If he can kick his addiction, I can kick mine. We’ll work as a team along with our support meetings. Does anyone have any experience with OA? What’s worked for you and what hasn’t?
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