Hello all,

I FINALLY have my computer back; I had no idea what a computer addict I was until I was 8 days without a computer. Ugh, very painful. My computer is a virgin again after having a complete restore. I'm a bit sad to have lost some great websites that I had bookmarked and some other stuff I really wanted, but I couldn't justify paying an extra $100 for the backup. Guess if it's THAT important I'll find it again.
I can't upload my bodybugg info because this computer comes with IE8 and BB requires IE 6 or 7. Every download for IE 7 I've found says it's not compatible with this Vista version. I've been very frustrated since Wednesday.
Wednesday was my fiance's court hearing for his cases. It lasted about 60 seconds and I could only hear about every 3rd word. I left without hearing what his bond was. Again, more frustration. I picked my computer up on the way home, went home to try to look up his bond info online only to discover that my product info for my anti-virus had been saved in an email folder which...you guessed it, it gone. Grrrr!!! I was able to do the 60 day free trial again, but I will have to rebuy the freaking thing again.
I've just felt overwhelmed this entire week. Monday I went to a different OA meeting since I knew I wouldn't make it to the Wednesday meeting. I'm glad I went. I've been really bad this week about planning my meals. I don't have anything in the house that's not on my plan, but it's making my life more difficult to have been so busy not to plan. I feel a huge internal chaos and I hate it.
Monday morning I went out (in the dark) and did the C25K run/walk. This was the first time I had tried it on the street. I feel really invigorated because I can tell that I'm building up some endurance from where I was. That's totally cool. Can't wait to build up even more.
Monday night I stayed up until 5am and cleaned up my office. I haven't filed in AGES. Holy crap, I shredded two trash bags full of papers. It's not quite done yet, but at least you can get in the room and see that there's actually a desk and chair in there.
I worked Tues & Wed. So after the crappy results of court, I had to face a night of work. From a meeting he had with a pretrial court woman, we were given the impression that he would be getting out on a recognizance bond which would be great because we're broke and don't have money laying around for bond. His parents aren't in a position to pay either. That day was a complete letdown; no one who was recommended for a recognizance bond got it. B's bond was $3700 and I feel horrible that I can't pay it, but...it is what it is. I would rather him stay in until his sentencing. It would break my heart to have him home for 6 months and then have him get sentenced to time and have to be ripped from my life again. We're praying he gets alternative sentencing and is able to get a program called Drug Court where he can get help for his alcoholism. We'll see what happens. At least he's back in the same city and I don't have to make 8 hr trips to TN to visit.
My only real good news of the week is that I'm out of the 260's. WoooHoooo!!! I weighed two days in a row just to be sure. 259 baby, 259! I was surprised because I haven't exercised as much as I want and need to this week. I'll bust ass today and tomorrow.
Last night was a struggle for me. I wanted pizza so badly, but I knew if I went to the store and bought a pizza I would eat the whole damn thing. I had it all planned out in my head too. I obsessed about it until I finally forced myself to go to bed. I'm feeling more in control today, but pizza sure does sound good still.

Can't wait to catch up on all the blogging I missed last week and this week. Hope everyone is doing well.

This has absolutely nothing to do with my whole lifestyle change or fitness; I just want to vent. Perhaps my frustration would have driven me to eat 2 weeks ago before I started this, but tonight I actually feel like working out & punching the crap out of the punching bag.
I just got off the phone with my son. He frustrates the living crap right out of me with his COMPLETE lack of concern for school, his future, or anything else that doesn't pertain to his girlfriend. I want to tear my hair out. My house is in a school district that sucks so 2 years ago, I went to court and signed over school-year guardianship to my parents so he could go to school in a better district. Has it helped? NO, no, no.
He has a whopping 23% in math and he has D's & F's in all his core subjects. How the hell do you get a 23% in a class; you can pretty much get that by just showing up. OMG!!! Why does he not care? Is it a boy thing? He's verbally making all these long-term plans with his girlfriend about how she is going to go to college in PA and when (if) he graduates from high school (plans on doing auto tech courses), he'll move to PA with her and they'll live happily ever after. Seriously kid?! By the time he makes up these failed classes, she will be 2 years ahead of him even though they're both 16. Does he honestly think that college boys aren't going to hit on here or that she'll not get sick of waiting on his slack ass? I wish I could drill a hole in his head to make sure there really is something in there. He just had an MRI and his neurosurgeon tells me there's brain matter in there, but I'm not believing it; I'm guessing it's all rotten and atrophied from lack of use.
I have no idea what to do with that kid. How do you make someone care? I think I just have to let go & let God as they say. I can only change myself. I can't change my son & the harder I try, the more pissed off we both become. I think what I'm most angry about is the fact that he turned out just like his father even though he hasn't spent more than 3 days with him in the past 11 years. How does that happen? Damn genetics and DNA!!! For every reason I divorced his dad, I see the same traits in him. It scares the life right out of me. I can't make him understand just how much I love him and want what's best for him. I'm sure in his eyes I'm just bitching to aggravate his life & cause him grief.
I'm going to get off my soapbox for now. Just my note of advice for all you single women out there. Be very careful about who you accept genetic deposits from. Today's loverboy could be tomorrow's deadbeat ex.

Anyhooo, back to my lifestyle efforts:

My triceps and hips are definitely feeling last night's workout. I am happy to report that I was able to lift the toothbrush enough to get my teeth brushed....just as planned. I was pleased with my food selections today too. I tried this new bread product; I think it's by Brownberry. They are round like buns, but flat like pita. They're only 100 calories and the ones I got are 100% whole wheat. They made quite the yummy sandwich with mustard, spinach, cheese, and turkey breast.
I need to drink more water today. I've been drinking iced tea like it's the last day of tea bag production. For dinner I went out to eat with a friend. We went to Old Bag of Nails which is known for it's near-authentic fish n chips. Man, did I want to order those, but I refrained. I got the chop salad with grilled chicken and peppercorn vinegarette. I'm not usually a fan of the vinegarette dressing, but this was quite tasty. It reminds me of a dressing my mom makes from scratch that has onions and cucumbers in it.
After dinner, we took a little walk before going to my Al-anon meeting. I always feel better after going to my meetings. Brings me back to some level of sanity & God knows I need that!