Here's the 1st 3 days of using the Bodybugg before it broke on Saturday. I can't wait to get the replacement because it really helps me stay on track & remain accountable to myself.

After spending 1.5 hours on the phone with a bodybugg techie, it was indeed determined that I got a bum bodybugg device. They will be sending out a new one and extending my service another 60days for free. That's a good payoff for my inconvenience I suppose, but I really wanted to be using the bugg.
So this weekend was a complete bust when it came to exercising. I went to TN to visit my guy. I had fully intended on walking at the area state park hoping there would be shade in the "forest". Yeah well, I got back in my car at 3pm on Saturday. The temp gauge in my car said it was 105. Holy shit, it was hot. I was just thankful not to have been wearing shorts on the leather seats. It was too hot to be outside. I don't want to even think what the heat index was.
Friday evening was about the same although not quite as hot...just upper 90s. No walk for me that night either. I did pre-plan my food and took grilled chicken I cooked the night before as well as lots of veggies, yogurt, water, & fruit. I think I did fairly well with my intake while gone.

I'd like to say that I lost lots just by sweating my ass off while I was gone, but sadly as I look behind me, I can still see MY big 'ol behind. I do notice my jeans fitting a bit more loosely so that's cool.
Anyway, I'm back in Ohio where the temp is only in the 80s. I'm off to do something active & fun with my son.

I've been using my Bodybugg for 4 solid days now. I love what it does for me. I feel more in control of every morsel that I put in my mouth or even that I THINK of eating. It definitely helps me resist temptations because I see it immediately how it's going to show up on my results for the day.
HOWEVER, I think I was sent a defective BB. Today I put it back on after my shower and the display on the watch thingy said that it needed synced and also set up. I already set it up 4 days ago so what the H? I pressed the button on the BB to get it to sync....no luck.
I didn't wear it for a few hours today & when I got back to the hotel to download whatever info was in there for the day, it wouldn't download the info---some error and call tech support which is only available M-F. This totally sucks ass.
I hope this isn't a common problem with the BB. I will be sorely disappointed. Let it just be a fluke.
Wednesday I was wearing it during my workout on the elliptical. The BB and the calories burned listed on the elliptical were only about 50 calories different. I was impressed that the elliptical was that accurate. I think ones said ~425 and the other 475.
So for now, I'm sad my BB isn't working. Hopefully they can overnight me a new one on Monday.

June 24, 2009



It's been such a good day so far. Besides the fact that I'm super tired from only sleeping 4 hours, it's been a good start for the day. I went to another OA meeting...mostly older women, but as usual, very good topics and useful information. I'm glad to have the structure and the avenue to address the emotional & psychological piece of overeating & food obsession.
It was reiterated about the concept of "One Day at a Time" or "Just for Today"....I will not eat compulsively or I WILL exercise x number of minutes. The concept is so simple, yet I often made my life harder than it really needs to be. Just for today I will take good care of my body!

Another good thing...I lost another pound making my total 9 now.
My bodybugg is up & running. I'm totally digging it! I love that it takes the brain work out of all the food calculations & exercise "guesstimates" of caloric expenditures. After wearing it since yesterday around 7pm, I do have to agree with others who have mentioned the arm fat pinching. Mine isn't so much that the band pinches my fat, but it's irritating my "bat wing". I'll just take that as a constant reminder to do arm exercises.

While I was at the OA meeting, I got a voicemail about interviewing for this casual position with the state. One of my friends that I used to work with is also doing this same job; she says it's a candy-ass job, but even those few hours a month will count towards my state retirement so I'm super stoked about getting that call.

And lastly, I tried that Green Monster Shake today...yum! It would have been better had I had the time to let it chill, but I was on my way out the door to that meeting so I drank it as is. It was good...looks weird, but I didn't taste the spinach at all. I'll be trying that again and mixing it up a bit; perhaps I'll try some strawberries in it next time.

June 23, 2009

My BodyBugg is finally here. It was supposed to arrive yesterday, but it didn't. I've just taken it out of the box. So excited to get started with it!! Woo Hoo
I just tried on the elastic band. I see what someone meant when they posted about the band pinching their arm fat. That's really not a good look so I supposed I better chop, chop on the bicep & tricep weight lifting. It looks like "bra overhang" for the arm....ewww.

June 17, 2009

This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with dieting, but I thought I would share it because it’s just jacked up. I have a good friend in the Pittsburgh area who is using Match.com to try to meet some great guy. She has been talking for a few days with a guy, having some laughs, & whatnot. He invited her to dinner tonight & they went to a rib place. They meet at the restaurant. The waitress came to get their drink order and he orders water; my friend ordered a soda.
She ordered ribs for dinner. When the waitress turned to him for his order, he said, “I’m not eating”. My friend was about to say “ WTF?” But she held her tongue. He said he might order dessert. He informed her that he’s got a severe allergy to MSG and can’t/doesn’t take the risk of eating at restaurants. Hello dumbass! Why would you ask her out to dinner then? And if you do indeed have an anaphylactic reaction to MSG, why don’t you just carry an epi-pen and live your life like a normal person?
She didn’t know what to say. Her dinner came. The conversation was just so-so. The real kicker for her was when he decided he couldn’t even drink the water there and pulled out a bottle of water from his back pocket. That was it for her. She paid her bill and left. Officially her worst date ever. Just goes to show that even thin girls have dating woes. It isn’t just bad for the big girls.

Please feel free to share your dating horror stories.

I’ve often thought of writing a book about my shitty dating life. Perhaps I will just make a blog about it.

June 17, 2009

I think the C25K is finally starting to kick it into gear for me. I’ve been losing & gaining the same 3-4 lbs since starting at the end of April. Today I’m down 6 lbs. I’m excited to finally be seeing some results. I needed that today because I’m not at the point where I’m loving the running thing yet, but I want to get there & not seeing any progress wasn’t a motivator to continue. Now I’m compelled to keep going.
Yesterday I got a call from my mom. I don’t even recall what her main reason for calling was, but it ended up being an expensive call for her. Before the call was over, we were both online checking out the Bodybugg & she offered to buy me one. Hellz yeah!!! I won’t turn down that offer. She’s so not computer savvy and for once it actually paid off. Instead of going to the Bodybugg site, she ended up on 24hour fitness’s site. Turns out that they’re having a special on the Bodybugg; instead of being $298 for the whole deal as on the BB site, they are offering it for $239. The sale ends at the end of June if anyone is considering getting one & wants a better deal.
I’m so anxious to get started with it. In the past, I’ve used calorie-count.com to track my food intake. I like that this is going to be all-in-one. I’ve decided that I’m going to do a modified carb-restricted food plan. About 5 years (and 35 pounds) ago, I worked out with a woman who had me on a plan of 80g carbs/day. It really seemed to work for me. At first I struggle with breakfast because I hate eggs and ended up eating chicken or salad for breakfast which wasn’t working so well for me. I ended up losing 20 pounds and 30.5 inches in only 6 weeks. This time I think I will do a range from 80-100 and modify as needed from that starting point. I want to find something that will feel doable for the long haul (for life) and not feel like a diet that I just have to suffer through for some end result.
Tonight I’ve got a meeting from 8-9 & then I’m heading to the high school to do another day of the C25K on the track. I actually made a little progress on that as well. On Monday I used my mom’s treadmill to do my walk/run. I walked at 3mph and ran at 4.5mph. The previous time I used the treadmill I walked at 3, but ran at 4.3mph. It’s a small increase, but an increase nevertheless. I’ll take it. To a fit person, 4.5 is probably still doing my Charlie Brown shuffle, but we all have to start somewhere.

June 14, 2009

Yesterday I missed my OA meeting. I worked Friday night and our unit was full so we were really busy. A few of the babies cried all night long and that just grates on the nerves after a while. When I got home, I went straight to bed with the intention of getting up 2 hours later to go to the meeting. But when 10am came and that alarm went off, I just couldn’t do it. I reset the alarm and went back to sleep until 3pm. I got ready for work and then went over to my parents’ house to work out before I headed in for another 12-hour shift. I did day 2 of the C25K. I did much better this time…even on the treadmill. I found a better running speed than the first time I tried it on the treadmill. I was so glad that the 2 days of rest eased my shin pain. This time I concentrated on actually picking my feet up during the running intervals. When I did day 1 on the track, I felt like I was shuffle-running like Charlie Brown. I know I couldn’t have possibly improved THAT much after just one walk/run, but I felt I did. By the end of the session, I felt really pumped and excited for the next workout. I know they recommend a day of rest between workouts, but I want to run again today.

The thing I’m struggling with most is my food. It’s not that I even eat all that badly, but I could do LOTS better. I really want to go back to my 80g of carbs/day like I used to do. That really seemed to work for me. I was able to lose weight and that carb level seems to take away my cravings. Why is it that I know this about my eating issues, but I’m still too darn lazy to implement it right now? I need to get my thinking right. Although I’m willing to do the exercise, the food planning, shopping, preparing, weighing, & the recording seem to be my downfall. I feel like by having to do all this food stuff makes me obsessed with food. I’m constantly thinking about food and that’s not the way I want it to be.
I’m hoping the food issue will be another benefit of going to OA. I want to learn how to address the concept that food is a fact of life without having to obsess about it. I would love to eventually be at a comfort level where healthy food choices just come naturally without wishing I was eating fatty foods and foods that aren’t nutrient dense. I’ve got lots of work to do before I get to that level.
Last night at work, I was talking to a few other girls who are also struggling with their weight. I told them about working Step 1 of the OA Step workbook and how emotional it had been. As I started talking about it, I started to well up with tears again. Before starting on my journey this time, I never realized just how much my weight affected me. I’ve been stuffing my feelings, but I have no idea why or how I even got into the habit of overeating.
I know that my low self-esteem was learned from my mom. She’s always been obsessed with her weight. She was constantly dieting and trying every weight loss gimmick on the market. She had success on phen/fen, but has since gained it all back & probably a bit more.

When I was 10 she began giving me Dexatrim diet pills. I don’t know if I told her that I wanted to lose weight or if she just thought I should lose weight. I wasn’t fat then, but I was chunky. Then in high school I was about the same size as my mom. We shared some clothes and would go shopping together. When I got to college and gained weight, we stopped shopping together. The last time I recall clothes shopping with my mom was somewhere around 1998. I lost enough weight to get into a size 16 which meant I could shop at a regular store instead of a fat chick store. Now that I’m bigger again….no shopping. We don’t hang out much anymore. I am dreading getting to the step where I have to admit all my character flaws and defects. Am I withdrawing from being social with her or are my feelings of not being good enough justified? I have no idea. Perhaps it’s a combination of both. For many years now, I’ve felt like I’ve been an embarrassment to her because of my weight. In the back of my mind, I’ve often wondered how she would react if I got to my goal weight. I think subconsciously I’ve been afraid to lose weight and find out if she’ll want to hang out and shop again. That would hurt.
I’ve already dealt with that rejection in the dating world. I always wanted to find a guy who could just like/love me for who I am at this very moment. Don’t dislike me because I’m not skinny or don’t like me because you’re a chubby chaser and I’m the kind of fat girl you like. Just like me for me. I finally found that with Brent. Fat girls aren’t his preference, but he likes the kind of person I am and I just happen to come in a large package (for now). He loves me now and he’ll still love me smaller or bigger than I am right now. That does give me a sense of peace & security. Plus he’s more than willing to assist & support me any way he can to help me reach my goals. I can’t freaking wait until he moves back to Ohio. I need his support on a daily basis. His cooking is fabulous; mine is good, but I don’t enjoy cooking like he does. He’s my rock.

I’ve rambled long enough. I’m off to do W1D3.

June 10, 2009


Last night I stopped over at my parent's house. After visiting with them, I decided to try day 1 of the C25K using their treadmill and a podcast I found for the program. I'm disappointed to say that I didn't complete the whole workout so I'm going to try it again today. I did a little over half. I'm not sure if I will do better outside when I can walk and run at my own pace instead of how fast the treadmill is set for me to run, but seriously...kudos to those completing this C25K challenge.
I'm not giving up though. I think it just might take me a bit longer to build up. I might do week 1 for 2 weeks. I believe there is a big difference between working out on a machine and actually having your body propel itself. I'm going to try it again on the track at the high school and see if I do any better.

June 8, 2009


I'm bummed on 2 levels today. First off, there was no 9 pound total loss which is what I thought the other day. Damn scale; I do need to get something more reliable. How can it fluctuate so much?! That totally yanks my chain. Today I weighed myself again & it's only a 2 pound total loss (sad face).
Yesterday my son & I went to the school and walked a mile on the track. We totally intended on doing more, but it was so flippin' hot out there we felt like our feet were on fire. We also brought our bikes with us so we biked 4.5 miles too. Now I'm left wondering why as a child the bicycle seat never hurt my "girl parts", but it does now. Holy cow!! But overall it was a good ride. We saved a poor little squirrel from being flattened, but not from death. He'd already been hit by a car, but was just stunned & seizing in the road on his way to death. I couldn't bear the thought of his little body being squished so we pulled him to the side of the road so he could go to Heaven in peace & one piece. (biggest sad face) I thought for sure there would be a pound lost or something, but noooo. That would be asking too much today.
I will keep working at it though. This fat can't hold on forever. Saturday I went to my second OA meeting. Good stuff. I think this just might be the key I've been missing from my weight loss plan. I've done all the questions for Step 1. I'm not sure if I have to wait now and get a sponsor before I move on or what, but I'm learning a lot about myself and perhaps beginning to see why I've allowed myself to get to this size. Excited to see what the future holds.

I think I need a new scales. I weighed myself today and I think I've lost 9 pounds however there are sometimes segments missing out of the digits on my digital scale. I guess if the drop into the 250's soon I'll know it was correct. I think it said 263 today. I'm happy about that.
I started walking on the track at the high school. It's definitely easier on the body than walking on concrete. My goal is to be jogging/running in 2 months. I'm feeling pretty good today.

June 2, 2009
One of my big stresses of life right now is money. Last year I took a job that pays nearly $4/hr less than what I was making, the insurance is crappy which creates medical bills which I didn’t have at my other job, Brent is away so I’m back to a one income household for the time being, and the last kick in the teeth was my ex-husband moving out of state which means no more child support until he decides to get a job; he seems to be in no hurry to get that done.
Soooo that brings me to my job---due to some cuts and changes made in the health system, my department is starting to feel the heat. I think they (hospital administrators) are secretly working behind the scene to eliminate my department and send the patients to other hospitals to deliver their babies. Most of our patients are Medicaid patients and the hospital decided to stop taking the insurance that the OB/GYN doctors who come to our hospital take. We take the opposite Medicaid insurance than what the doctors take. Does that make any kind of sense? NO!! Every week we watch our census dwindle. Last week I was on call for 12 hours of my 36 hour work week which means I have to waste vacation time just to have a paycheck. Tonight I got put on call again for 8 hours this time. I don’t have any more vacation time to use as coverage for the missing hours. I’m just screwed for the time being. I can’t dwell on it; it makes me so anxious and gets my stomach in knots.
Over the weekend I was thinking of strategies for improving my life. In addition to what I’m doing for my physical health, I also need to work on my financial health as well. I decided that anytime I get put on call and lose work hours, I have to spend at least half of the lost hours doing something productive. I make jewelry, but haven’t done it in such a LONG time. I could be making jewelry pieces and selling them online. Will I make as much as I would at work? Probably not, but something is better than nothing, plus its fun. I can blog more and God knows I can exercise more. Plus I have lots of little projects around the house that I want to get done, but never seem to find the time. I need to make a master list and just start getting busy on completing them.
I got the call from work around 730pm telling me that I would be on call. I finished watching the TV program I was watching and then changed clothes. I put workout clothes on and headed over to the high school. I walked the track for a while. I only did 1 mile since it was getting close to dark. After the mile, I ran the bleachers a couple of times. That freaked me out a bit because they were wet from the rain & I thought I was going to slip and bust by butt. Plus my legs just aren’t conditioned for that kind of torture yet. I’ll need to build up to that too.
I feel good that I got out there and did something when I really wanted to be lazy. Could it be??? I might actually be learning to be a healthy person.